sleeeeeeeeep

Man, not sleeping sucks. It's a strange sort of not sleeping, when it's not that you simply don't get to sleep. Adrenaline is there in my veins and a vague anxiety creeps in, my body tenses up, and it feels like some vague threat is there in the shadows, but shadows that only exist in my mind so there's no where to feel safe.

So yes, last night I again had trouble sleeping, and I feel tired and tense today. Even going to a guided relaxation visualization I feel tense - couldn't get into it. Same sort of stuff came in. I tried breathing and listening to the fear, realizing it is my best friend, all that instinctual center stuff! No real progress that I saw.

Well, at least I saw an accupuncturist (actually in a school where it's a lot cheaper), which was recommended by Karen as per the channeling earlier in this journal. Just got some herbs this time - accupuncture next week. But I shall never lose my humour. They (the instructor and about 8 students) were asking me questions about my condition, from sleep to appetite to bowel movements to anything. And me being the sage that I am, I just Looooved the attention I was getting from 9 people all focused on me, and had them all laughing consistently for the session.

No matter how bad my problems are, I can now laugh at them and shrug and say "it's a temporary inconvenience". Even if I had no arms and no legs lying in front of a door (you'd call someone like that the same as my name) I would still possibly treat it like that.

And of course, the funny thing is, from the soul's point of view, that's just what it is...